Entering the Temazcal

In a yoga retreat, I found my rebirth.

Family life has been exhausting. One of our kids is really struggling, and it’s putting a strain on the family, and me, and Ms. 80.

Every little bit of capacity, all consumed, like an addict in a drug store, and endless cope of junk to fill the empty void.

I know this.

I was this.

And still, even with all the work I’ve done on myself, I only have so much to give.

We took an emergency trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico where the weather ranged around 65-80 degrees. A quick flight to the airport, a taxi to the Marina, and a 45 minute boat ride, to a private beach, and open air rooms nestled in the jungle hillside.

For five days, we ate healthy prepared meals, mostly vegetables, fish, and chicken. Each morning, we were treated to a 90-minute yoga session aimed at stretching and balance. We filled up the remaining time with massages and body scrubs, and of course, long days on the beach, pool, or on the hammock.

Facing my fears

One of the features of this trip was the Temazcal ceremony. It’s an indigenous practice in Mexico where the Temazcal, a sweat lodge, was used by healers to cure the sick and prepare warriors for battle.

I came in thinking that it’s just a sweat lodge.

Instead, the ceremony started with lining up along the first. Everyone was handed a small pinch of tobacco, which we whispered our intentions into. The fire was roaring, heating up the pile of stones. I stood there, thinking that this is going to get too hot for me, there’s no way I’ll make it.

The shaman invited us all to get on our hands and knees, and crawl into the Temazcal. It was shaped almost like an igloo. Inside, we sat on blankets in a circle, the ceiling was low, and it echoed.

She scribed onto the sand, a path from the entrance to the fire, with an X indicating god. The outside man one by one, shoveled the hot stones in. Every stone has a meaning, earth, wind, fire, water, and positioned accordingly.

My heart started racing as the heat started to permeate the room.

Then they closed the door, and it was dark.

Claustrophobia kicks in.

It’s slightly smokey from the stones. The heat is making the air feel thick.

People are all nervous, you can feel the energy, the fear kick it.

I need to get out of there.

It invokes my fears, not just feeling trapped, but all the other fears.

It’s the same fear as when I did mushrooms or anything. The anticipation.

She pours the water over the stones, and the room heats up fast. They play the drums, and chant a song. We sing along, and then slowly the vibe gels out.

We repeat this four times.

One where the women share their names and intentions.

Another where the men do theirs (there’s only three of us).

We end with a session on our inner child.

The ceremony ends with us crawling out the Temazcal, a representation of a rebirth.

This was not a health activity but rather a spiritual ritual.

Ceremonies break down the part of our brains that mask.

They’re hard, never easy.

They force us to face what we don’t want to face.