Finding healing from mainstream products

My journey toward healing only progressed when I reached outside the mainstream system of productivity and health, and found my community of people who healed themselves

When I started my healing journey in earnest at the beginning of 2020, I found that lots of experts, gurus, and apps, yet none of them worked for me.

Three years later, I finally understand why.

Most of the content I found on the Internet was created in a bubble. The solutions were apps, guided meditation, yoga, biometrics, etc. They were tailored for a specific audience to scratch a superficial itch.

These experts assumed that I was just trying to optimize health, that exercise is fun, that mindfulness is just sitting still.

And when I tried to do this, it felt like being stabbed.

How could I be mindful when my inner world was on fire?

How could I do downward dog when my body was in a state of fight or flight?

Understanding the underlying issues

Before I continue, I want to be clear that I have no problem with the existing solutions in the marketplace. There’s nothing wrong with them. I’m just noting that they’re missing a bit for me.

This letter was triggered when I read a post from a healing guru. He noted the data before and after his healing work, where he saw his Heart Rate Variability (HRV) go from 120 to 200ms.

Quick sidebar: HRV is a measure of the variability of time in between heartbeats. When HRV is low, it indicates a state of stress and underlying issues. The heart is beating faster, and there’s less chance for variability in the time between beats. A higher HRV indicates that the body is adapting to changing conditions well.

After three years of therapy and all the trauma work I did, I moved my HRV from a yearly average of 40ms to 60ms.

My ATH was basically half of this guy’s lowest low.

That didn’t feel good.

Again, I have to reiterate that I’m not fading another person’s win.

My underlying issue comes from inter-generational trauma, a traumatic birth, a rough few years growing up, and a life-long of suppressing these issues.

Where are the healers and gurus that have walked through the fire?

Finding healing from those that are healed

As I move along in this journey, I’ll acknowledge that the various apps, gurus, courses, etc., all helped.

But.

If I were to do it again, I would hope to find more resources from those that have done the deep inner work.

These apps all scratched at my ego’s itch to be more productive, to look better, to fit in.

But instead, my deep self needed to be seen, to be heard, to be acknowledged, and to be united.

My mission is to seek out more of these resources, to experiment and learn, and to share them with you.

What is the root of your need?

In this letter, I’m featuring a video by Gabor Mate. He’s a physician focused on childhood development and trauma.

Journal Prompt

1. Recall your childhood. How was your attachment to your caregivers?

2. What is your addiction? How are you attempting to solve the problem?

3. Imagine reconnecting with your SELF. How does that feel? What would it look like? Who would you be?