If I were to do it again, here's my blueprint for healing

I wanted to get a first draft written down on what I would do if I were to do it again.

There’s no one size fits all.

Whenever I share my story to an entrepreneur, they want to scale it to the masses. This is great. This is why apps like Calm, Headspace, etc. exist and they serve a purpose. However, the deeper and longer I’ve been on this journey, the more I’m convinced that there’s no scalable solution.

Healing can only be done by choice, not through force.

You have to choose to wake up, and take action today.

You have to choose to keep doing it.

You have to not wall yourself up and stop.

And there’s no end.

I wanted to put together some of my initial thoughts on what I would consider a “blueprint” for doing this healing work. I’m not a researcher, I’m not a therapist, and I’m sure there’s no one person out there who has the answer to anything, so take all this with a grain of salt.

The Healing Blueprint

This is a set of unrefined ideas from my own personal experiment. I am a learner and I learn by doing, and I made a lot of mistakes along the way.

Start journaling

You’re gonna need to be doing this along the way, and I suggest you start first because it’s something you can do on your own. I suggest you keep a paper journal rather than digital. You can do both, but the paper one will help you reconnect with your body.

This is a great video to watch and why you should consider doing this inner work.

Suggested reading:

Writing and Being: Embracing Your Life through Creative Journaling by G. Lynn Nelson.

the Artists’s Way by Julia Cameron

Look Inward

Look for a therapist that’s trained with Internal Family Systems. They will help you identify your “parts.” These are personas, masks, whatever you want to call it that help you get through the external world. When we’re younger, we formed protective systems to keep us safe, and we “exiled” the weak parts away.

The longer in life you are, or the harder things got, the further away from your true self you become.

If it were me, I’d read the book first, so you can familiarize yourself with the system before spending money and time with a therapist.

Suggested reading:

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz

Inward by Yung Pueblo

Heal the Trauma

As you do your internal work with your therapist, at some point, you may identify the source of your issues. Those traumas are stored in your body.

For me, I disassociated from my body. My mind existed separate from my body. It took a year of meditation and therapy to connect with my body.

In the suggested readings below, Bessel talks about various forms of treatment. For me, I went with EDMR. Look for a therapist that’s trained with this method of treatment. This is much more effective when you are in tune with yourself, that you know how to express your feelings, how things feel when it emerges.

There are other methods out there like brainspotting, psychodramas, and on and on. Finding a therapist that's trained in trauma will help you navigate the options out there.

Suggested reading:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

Change your Mind

This part is optional, but psychedelics can open a portal to healing. I was extremely resistive at first, maybe it was the years of DARE anti-drug lessons at school.

For me, 🍄 gave me 6 months where I lived the world in the third person POV. I could zoom out of myself and see the world with a more expansive view. It allowed me to work on myself, but from a bigger perspective.

Suggested reading:

How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan

The Journey is the Destination

While I wrote the above as a blueprint, there is no set path. The journey itself is the purpose. Here are a few things I learned along the way:

I am my biggest obstacle.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. You’ll be okay.

You cannot hold the moment. There will be moments when things are perfect, and you will do everything you can to hold onto that moment. Yet the moment is fleeting. Be in the here and now, and enjoy that moment when it comes.

Behind the “bad” feelings are all the amazing ones hidden from you. Don’t chase happiness. Sit in the discomfort, for that is where your soul exists.

Anywhere along the way, if you feel lost, if you feel hopeless, listen to this by Ram Dass

Let me know what you think. This is my first draft. I need to keep working on documenting my process and putting down the references.