Sitting in the discomfort, how to get started
Most will focus on positivity, but embracing the whole is the path to self
It’s been a hot minute. Life has been busy. I’ve been working on some home projects, traveling with Ms. Chubbicorn, and trying to raise these little kids.
It’s been well over a month since my psychodrama therapy session. What I’ve uncovered for myself is communal therapy is a better path than the typical 1:1 method. Of course, there’s a time and place for working with a therapist, but 80% of my success has stemmed outside of that formal, regulated structure.
Regulations are good, they protect the public and regulations closes the door on alternative methods.
In the past few letters, I’ve written my personal story. More will emerge as I continue this journey and continue to document it. Words alone cannot do it.
For now, in this letter, I want to address my thoughts on those wanting to embark on their own journey.
Find your advocate
While I started this letter downplaying the effectiveness of a therapist, this always is my recommended starting point, because it’s the safest. There’s too many tools and methods out there, and in the absence of a guide, you’ll get lost quickly, or worse, do harm to yourself.
How do I find a therapist?
I’d start with googling a bit, look for referrals if possible. Sadly, the best therapists work outside of the insurance model, so you may be looking at big out-of-pocket costs. If you’re not there yet, focus on what you can get with your insurance.
Ask the therapist about their training
Are you versed with Internal Family Systems? Can you help me find my protector, and my exiled?
Have you done any psychodrama? Better yet, tell me a bit about chapter 18 of The Body Keeps the Score.
What’s your perspective on psychedelics?
What is your role in my healing journey?
Are there other modalities you would use such as EMDR?
Look up more, these are questions I would ask today, based on my own experience. There are more questions to ask unique to you.
Remember that therapists are just people that have taken course work, passed a test, registered, and performed the work under supervision. Like all professions, not all are equal. Some are good, some are not.
Try to find someone with a similar background and cultural exposure as you so they can better understand your ancestor, cultural and generational impacts you may experience.
You have everything you need within yourself
This one is hard to accept. If you’re starting out, you may have a lot of baggage. That’s why starting this work under the supervision of a therapist is the safest path. You’ll have someone that can supervise you, give you a perspective on safety and efficacy, and help you put together a plan.
As I’ve done my own work, it’s always come back to finding peace, finding love, and finding healing within myself (and in the community). The healing itself won’t happen simply by showing up every week 1:1.
I remember my first session with my first therapist. It was very awkward, and very mechanical. In hindsight, I barely scratched the surface. I wasn’t close, but it was what I needed in the moment. As time passed, I was open to more, and I had the skills to open up more.
I am 80, and I’m here with you
I’m really embracing these letters as a way to write my book, and to share my experiences with the world. I’ve seen life-changing outcomes for those in my circle. It’s not a magic pill, but it can creat a rippling effect that puts you on a path toward something 🌈.
Thanks for being here with me, do me a favor, forward this on to someone that can benefit.